Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
