I love black thongs
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
This is the high leading the old right now
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
