mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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