i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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