I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Randomize
