We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
