Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
