Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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