cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
