College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
