The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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