She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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