You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
