would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We need to rekindle our bromance
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
