Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
