just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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