some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
