I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
