i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize