the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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