Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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