I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
