I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize