your room smells of hookers.
And success
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
