It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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