he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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