McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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