She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
