Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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