Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
