yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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