Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
