Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
