Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
did i walk over a car last night?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
