Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
