nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
