This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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