Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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