i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
