My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
