Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
