Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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