I look better un-naked...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Oh god it's open bar.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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