my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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