your parents love me but you hate me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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