I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
