I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire