so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
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In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
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I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.