Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
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I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob