dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.