ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.