you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me