mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize