I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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