my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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