Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
And then he peed in my hair
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
