It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
