im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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