How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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