Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
the day after is always just damage control
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
