I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
