I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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