try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have tasted many bathrooms
FUCK WHALES
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
