hell yes lets make some ravioli
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
