Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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