i already hear my dad disowning me
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
