literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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