Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize